- Examine the expectations placed on different genders
- Explore how comfortable or uncomfortable it is to express different emotions
- Challenge toxic masculinity and other gender stereotypes
- Prep:
- Before you start, use masking tape, painter’s tape, or yarn to make a line on the floor about 10 feet long. Label one end “Uncomfortable” and the other “Comfortable.”
- Intro:
- Let’s talk about emotions – and how we show them. Everyone feels things like sadness, fear, or stress, but not everyone feels safe showing these emotions.
- A lot of guys or men feel pressure to “man up” and hide what they’re feeling. Many think they’re supposed to bottle it up and not ask for help – even when they’re struggling. This can lead to serious stuff like depression, substance use, or even suicide.
- Teen girls face different pressures. They’re often told how to look or act, and when they do speak up, they might be called “too emotional” or “dramatic.” Because of this, their mental health issues sometimes get ignored – even though many deal with things like anxiety, trauma, or eating disorders.
- Trans and nonbinary youth also deal with big challenges. They’re more likely to face discrimination and feel misunderstood – and that takes a toll. They’re much more at risk for depression and suicide, especially if they don’t have support.
- All of this can also be impacted by other parts of our identities, like race, ethnicity, culture, religion, and so much more.
- So today, we’re going to check in with ourselves – and each other – about how we show emotions and how safe it feels to express them.
- Here’s how it works:
- The facilitator will say a feeling out loud. Participants will then move along the line to show how comfortable or uncomfortable they feel expressing that feeling to a close friend or trusted adult. There’s no right or wrong answer – encourage folks to just be real with themselves
- Read off the following emotions one at a time and allow folks to move to a spot that feels right for them. Add in others if you’d like!
- Anger, Jealousy, Confidence, Confusion, Joy, Fear, Anxiety, Embarrassment, Pain, Sadness, Hopelessness, Affection, Boredom, Loneliness, and Guilt
KEY TAKEWAYS: Affirmations about Feelings
- All feelings are valid.
- Feelings serve a purpose.
- A feeling signals to us our bodily response to a situation.
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
- Allow others to feel theirs.
- What observations do you have based on the activity?
- Which of the feelings did you find most comfortable expressing? Which ones did you find difficult to express?
- How do you think your comfort level with expressing these feelings may relate to your gender and culture?
- What cultural messages have you received in relation to masculinity vs. femininity that may have shaped your perception of certain emotional expression as being “tough” or “weak”?
- E.g. “machismo” in Latino/a/e culture, the “strong Black women” stereotype, “emotion stoicism” in Asian culture
- How do you think these factors play into your comfort with being vulnerable and/or seeking help when struggling?
- In what ways do you think suppressing or minimizing emotions can affect your wellbeing and relationships?
- What is one thing you could do to accept and express your feelings in constructive ways, especially when you feel vulnerable (sadness, hurt, hopelessness, etc.)?
- See tips/resources below for how to identify and accept feelings as first steps to regulating your own emotions
- If it doesn’t come up naturally, here are the key takeaways:
- All feelings are valid.
- Feelings serve a purpose.
- A feeling signals to us our bodily response to a situation.
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
- Allow others to feel theirs.
Basic Emotion Regulation Skills
Additional Reading/Resources