Courageous Conversations

Practice using nonviolent communication to foster effective exchange of ideas with peers
Foster growth and promote love and kindness while talking about sensitive topics

Before the conversation, start with a grounding session with Take 5 (5 things that can be seen, 4 things that can be felt, 3 things that can be heard, 2 things that can be smelled, 1 thing that can be tasted).
- *Note for facilitator: Be mindful of the varying abilities your group might have as it relates to the five senses. Invite folks to skip any sense that does not work for them, and invite them instead to spend more time on a sense that does.
Next, the facilitator will read off the following script of self-affirmations and for participants to repeat after them, read each statement 3 times:
- I honor and support myself (participants repeat 3x)
- I love and accept myself (participants repeat 3x)
- I practice peace and patience (participants repeat 3x)
- I am worthy of my own compassion and kindness (participants repeat 3x)
The facilitator will then share the topic of discussion with club members participating as a reminder along with these guidelines:
- Everyone who wants to be heard will have a chance to speak, though you can pass if you do not wish to speak.
- We will gently stop you so that everyone gets a chance to speak. We will hold space with silence (and if virtual: feel free to use reactions to offer support).
- There will not be cross-talk between participants, meaning participants will not respond directly to others’ points of view or ideas or speak over each other.
- Club sponsor(s) are available (if virtual: via private message) if you need additional support.
- (If Virtual) Keep your videos on or off, whatever makes you feel most comfortable (if held on an online platform).
- Optional: between sharing, take a compassionate breath and hold the hands over your heart.
The facilitator will then ask if all participants understand these guidelines and if they have any comments, questions, or concerns.
After you all are grounded, begin the courageous conversation using the following template:
- A) Name what you can do
  - “When I see/hear/feel ____(observed event)______,
  - I feel ___(emotion)________
  - because I need/value ____(value or need an individual has)_____.
  - I can ____(action that can be taken)_____.”
    - Example: “When I hear someone making fun of someone else’s clothes, I feel frustrated because I value this space and don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable while they’re here. I can hopefully inspire others to speak kinder to those around them by sticking up for someone when it happens.”
- B) Ask for what you need
  - “When I see/hear/feel ____(observed event)______,
  - I feel ___(emotion)________
  - because I need/value ____(value or need an individual has)_____.
  - Are you willing to____(action that can be taken)_____?”

After the conversation, the facilitator should pose these questions:
- Why is nonviolent communication important when talking to others?
- Why is self-reflection important?
- Why do you think this template above fosters nonviolent communication?
- What were you able to learn from others or about yourself or the world during this discussion?
- What steps can we take to become better communicators?

For some, talking about the things they’re passionate about comes easy; for others, not so much. No matter the topic, it’s important to create a safe space for everyone’s opinion while being mindful of our personal zones.
Stay curious; try not to make assumptions or ask leading questions when the conversations lulls
Encourage reflective silence – it’s important to think before we speak!

Courageous Conversations could also be done in a larger format (such as a town hall or fishbowl to address issues that impact the larger school community.
- NOTE: If facilitating with a larger group, it may be helpful to select the students participating in the conversation ahead of time, then host a part two with other interested students.
  - Example: Topic – Addressing Community Violence
  - “When I hear/see a fight taking place,
  - I feel scared
  - because I know that at any time it could happen to me. Attitudes and tensions are so high that bumping into someone in the hallway could start a fight.
  - I can try using this template whenever I think something might escalate.”