red flag, green flag

Identify the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships, or red and green flags
Provide resources if someone believes they may be in an unhealthy relationship

Pass out paper and writing utensils and give folks 3 minutes to independently write down their response to the prompt:
- “What makes a relationship healthy? You can think about romantic relationships or friendships.”
Give folks the opportunity to share what they wrote with a partner or two for 3 minutes
Let folks know that you’re going to play a couple of short videos that show some signs of an unhealthy relationship. If anyone feels triggered by this, they can take a break outside of the room and talk to the club sponsor for support.
Play the Because I Love You video and pause for 1-2 minutes for quick reactions
Play the #LoveBetter video and pause for 1-2 minutes for quick reactions
After folks have their initial reactions, pose the following questions:
- What does it mean when someone says something is a “red flag?”

- - Facilitator note: a red flag in a relationship or person is typically a sign that they are behaving in an unhealthy or even potentially abusive way. A red flag is a sign that this person might not be a good partner or friend

- - Facilitator note: an “ick” is something that personally just turns someone off from another person, but a “red flag” is a sign that someone is behaving in an unhealthy or potentially abusive way. It’s important to differentiate between the two

- - Facilitator note: a green flag is something in a relationship or person that is a sign of healthy, caring, and loving behavior. A green flag is a sign that the person would be a good partner or friend

Next, encourage folks to write down 3 “red flags” that they’re going to look out for in a friendship or relationship, and 3 “green flags” on their sticky notes
- Bonus points if you have red and green markers for everyone to write with!
Once folks have written down their “red flags” and “green flags”, assign one part of the wall or board to be the red flag section and another to be the green flag section. Have everyone put their sticky notes up accordingly
Move on to the discussion questions

Note:
- You might hear people bring up the term “beige flag” because it’s popular on TikTok. While it’s not really an important part of the conversation around healthy vs. unhealthy relationships, it’s good to be aware of it!
  - A beige flag refers to a behavior that is neither good nor bad, but notable or quirky or interesting. It’s often used as a way to lovingly tease a partner about a special interest or unique hobby.
    - Read more here

What resonated with you from the video? What didn’t?
What do you recognize as a “red flag” in a relationship? What about a “green flag?”
- As the facilitator, use the signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships to move the conversation along if you don’t see them represented in the sticky notes
Were you surprised by what anyone wrote? Is there anything in either category that you don’t think fits?
- I.e. is a red flag actually just an ick, or is a green flag actually maybe closer to a red flag
What can you do if you notice red flags in your partner or a friend’s partner? What can you do if you notice them in yourself?
- Hint: reach out to a trusted adult, use One Love Foundation or Love Is Respect resources
Where would you go if you needed to speak to a trusted adult about a relationship?
What “green flags” will you be looking for now in partners or friends? What “green flags” will you try to exhibit yourself to be a healthy, safe partner?

Thank you to the One Love Foundation for their videos & resources